The Grief Process

The death of a loved one and the pain that follows are among the most difficult experiences we can go through. Amid grief, feelings can be overwhelming. However, putting our most heartfelt thoughts and emotions into words can help us slow down and reflect upon the loss of someone special.

The loss of someone special is one of the most distressing experiences we go through as humans. Unsurprisingly, in the throes of grief, the confusion of thoughts, feelings, and emotions can be overwhelming. Our natural tendency might be to avoid or suppress these painful and sometimes conflicting thoughts. However, chronicling this pain can be a powerful tool for the bereaved [1]. Indeed, journaling through grief promotes self-reflection and yields insights that facilitate adjustment to an irrevocably changed life [2].

While grief is a complex and deeply personal process, the benefits of putting grief into words are extensive. For those grieving, it can be difficult to understand and communicate the painful emotions that go hand-in-hand with unspeakable loss. Journaling through grief encourages the exploration of these difficult emotions and provides a space for the bereaved to clarify and express themselves without inhibition or fear of judgment [3]. Moreover, writing about intense emotions and difficult experiences has been shown to facilitate meaning-making [4], promote immune function, overall health, and well-being [5], and improve resilience [6].

Journaling through grief also allows individuals to take a step back and reflect on their experiences from different perspectives. In doing so, over time, the bereaved become less focused on the painful events that have been weighing them down [7]. As the adage goes, the trouble with making mental notes is that the ink fades quickly. However, through journaling, clients can create a lasting record of their journey so that they may reflect upon their progress and explore the loss of a loved one in a safe, non-judgmental way.

Take home message

Writing can be a healing experience. After losing someone special, it may be difficult to understand your feelings until you write them down. Journaling is part of the process I use in therapy to help my clients reflect on and perhaps better understand what they are going through. More importantly, undergoing therapy through the grief process provides a safe place to explore these complicated emotions. It's alright to ask for help when things are not okay.

Feel free to book your first grief session now!

References

1. Baikie, K. A., & Wilhelm, K. (2005). Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 11, 338-346.

2. Furnes, B., & Dysvik, E. (2010). A systematic writing program as a tool in the grief process: Part 1. Patient Preference and Adherence, 4, 425.

3. Voskanova, C. (2015). A letter does not blush: In-session writing therapy to deal with shame in brief therapy. Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 26, 56–61.

4. Neimeyer, R.A., & Thompson, B.E. (2014). Meaning-making and the art of grief therapy. In B. E. Thompson & R.A. Neimeyer (Eds.), Series in death, dying, and bereavement. Grief and the expressive arts: Practices for creating meaning (pp. 3–13). Taylor & Francis Group.

5. Smyth, J., & Helm, R. (2003). Focused expressive writing as self‐help for stress and trauma. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 59, 227-235.

6. Klein, K., & Boals, A. (2001). Expressive writing can increase working memory capacity. Journal of Experimental Psychology, 130, 520.

7. DeSalvo, L.A. (2000). Writing as a way of healing: How telling our stories transforms our lives. Beacon Press.